nepenthean's Diaryland Dream Diary


memory construction

i dreamed i was in paris, taking in the street scenery and wanting to make the most of my time there. i was sitting on a promenade, looking around, when someone gave me a huge and powerful nikon camera. i decided to go to a gallery and appreciate the artwork. as i was going in, my hand or clothes got caught on a glossy piece of promotional material propped on a chair. i dragged it across the floor for several feet before putting it back and giving passers-by a wan smile.

i went into the museum and stood in line to see an exhibit being shown by some nuns. before they let us in, one of them went to the bathroom doors and tried to hold them both open at once (??). so, observing that, i walked down the hallway and looked around. suddenly, my mother and aunt n. were there, and they were both summoning me back to the line. i said, "what?" and saw a sign that indicated the exhibit had been open since 1998. as they were letting people in, i strolled back to the line and into the small room.

behind ropes was an exact replica of my grandparents' bedroom. i exclaimed about it, and then noticed the ancient artwork on the wall that was the focus of the exhibit. i started taking pictures. as i leaned forward and tried to zoom in for details, my mother grabbed me under the arms and pulled me back. i looked at her in supreme annoyance and hissed, "get your hands off me. you don't touch me unless i let you," and acted gravely angry through most of the time in the room. i noticed that she was wearing a nightgown. even though i had just yelled at her, she leaned against me.

i looked around the room and pondered its authenticity. everything seemed the same, but the bed was unmade -- and bunched on top of it was my favorite blue blanket from childhood. i saw myself (as a toddler) in a picture, but didn't recognize the woman with me. i stared into the middle of the room and draped my body across my mother's lap, sadly & tiredly contemplating it all.

7:50 p.m. - 2003-07-27


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