nepenthean's Diaryland Dream Diary


where my heart used to live

dreamed i packed up my car and drove to the city where my heart used to live. outside the movie theater where waiters bring you food while you watch the flick, i nearly got a traffic ticket for loitering. i was writing down the date of the last time my ex had been there, as well as the serial number of the chair in which he'd sat (which the theater owner had seen fit to put on the outside marquee), told the cop as much, and motored away. i just knew that bozo was still in the city.

from memory, i tried to remember street names. when i needed help, i stopped off somewhere and asked some residents how to get up the mountain. they said they were going there and invited me along, but only if i rode in their car. i declined and hurried back to my own. as i pulled the door open, about 20 pieces of ripped up paper fell on the ground as well as some canceled checks that i'd stored in the driver door. i scooped up the checks and some of the ripped pieces (but not all, i am a lazy girl after all) and left to find my own way.

first i looked for local landmarks. there weren't many but i didn't care. what i was struck most by was the lack of activity in the area. nothing was going on! nobody was outside. the air was still, the sky was gray, and the ground was wet from a recent downpour. shortly i came upon the hospital and recognized the street names. i chuckled to myself and thought, "only a little bit more now." somehow i got to the base of the mountain. did i really want to go up there? it was nearly dark and the road was unfamiliar to me. intuition gave me pause. before choosing, i woke up with a very peaceful feeling in my heart.

1:14 p.m. - 2004-11-18


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